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Home The Waifu Test

The Waifu Test How to find your dream girl

Dane Smith

A lifelong gamer, educator and skeptic. Always finding the fun in games and life. You can follow him on twitter or buy his novel.

December 21, 2014 Culture
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Everyone needs some love and excitement in their lives, and otakus (defined as an avid and reclusive collector or enthusiast of anime, video games, computers, etc.)  are not the exception. But while this hardcore group of geeks and nerds have shunned the ‘real world’ for their perfect ‘fantasy world’, their creation of the waifu (wife) and husbando (husband) have given us a fun and unique way to figure out the kind of women, or men, a person is attracted to that goes beyond physical features. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Waifu Test.

The Rules

Although this is called the waifu test, it can be adapted for women and others too by changing women to men. The waifu test has two simple rules. Assume you found a magical lamp and the genie grants you the ability to have any wife you want. Just name her and she is yours. No strings attached. The first rule is the person cannot be real. It has to be a fake person, so a character from video games, comic books, manga, and the like. The second rule is you have to make a top ten list. The order of the ten doesn’t matter, just that they are your top ten.

Take the next five minutes, or thirty, and do the test. Just write down the list. Don’t read ahead yet until you have your list. Put on some cool music and fantasize. Remember, this is your fantasy, not others. No judgments or thought policing here.

The hard decisions we have to make in life.

The hard decisions we have to make in life.

How The Rules Work

Finished? Awesome, now look at your list. There should be a common personality trait between all ten women you chose. It could be something obvious like they are all tough girls who take crap from no one, or maybe something more subtle like they are all shy. If the test worked then that common trait is the type of personality that you’re most attracted to in a romantic relationship.

So why the rule about no real people? Simply, we all put a value, a focus on personal appearances in our relationships. That is human nature and there is nothing wrong with that. When dealing with ‘real people’ we are always finding flaws, consciously or subconsciously, about a person’s physical appearance we don’t like. This is why ‘fantasy people’ are used. Physically there is nothing wrong with them in our mind. They are all hot and flawless.

But I like Lightning more than Jill Valentine, or Batman more than Superman, you may ask? Well, that is why we have the second rule. Subconsciously you’re ranking them on something else, something deeper. They are all physically flawless in your eyes, all 10 out of 10s, at least to the point you want to have sex with them, so you’re ranking them on something that is similar between them all. If your list is full of girls like Lightning, Jill and Ashley Williams, what is the common thread between them?

Let the waifu test help you find out who you really desire.

Let the waifu test help you find out who you really desire.

The other reason you make a list of ten is to differentiate between other people. A person, real or fictional, isn’t just one static personality trait. Even if some are more dominant than others, we all have multiple traits. One person might have Jill on his list and think ‘tough girl’ while another might be thinking ‘good girl gone bad’.

So, ladies and gentlemen, this is the waifu test. A fun and easy way to help you find the kind of personality trait you look for most in a potential love interest. Knowing what you are ‘really’ attracted to in a person is important for a long, stress free relationship. Even if the test absolutely fails for you and your list has no common threads, well, at least you got to fantasize. Isn’t that what’s great about being a gamer in the first place?

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Dec 21, 2014Dane Smith
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The Game Where Men Are Gunned Down For Talking To WomenAre Game Of The Year Awards Becoming Feminist Participation Awards?
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Dane Smith

A lifelong gamer, educator and skeptic. Always finding the fun in games and life. You can follow him on twitter or buy his novel.

December 21, 2014 Culture
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