What is it about SJWs and their constant need for “safe spaces?” Not only in real life, but in video games as well. It confounds me that the ones that profess themselves to be “gamers” want nothing to do with the culture and fandom of video games as a whole. Developers must create games hyper-specific to the SJWs’ needs and desires, but then SJWs don’t buy games, so what’s the point?
The release of Splatoon has earned it a rabid fan base of SJWs who enjoy that they can now play a multiplayer online shooter without all the hassle of those nasty “dudebros.” On top of that, they get to play as an anthropomorphized squid, which are still problematically gender binary, but that’s okay because the game provides plenty of “safe space.”
The key takeaway is still a multiplayer shooter experience free from “dudebros”: you know, the Mountain Dew® chugging, Cool Ranch® Doritos® munching, backwards hat-wearing grown men that play Call of Duty and say the word “faggot” a bunch and everything is “gay?”
In reality, that “dudebro” is more likely a dumb teenager who doesn’t know better, but what’s the difference to the SJW, when even a sunset is a triggering experience? Look at it, all up in the sky, shedding it’s last rays of life giving sunbeams like a giant yellow boobie. Oh my god, I’m triggering!
Please Shut Up Already
Maddy Myers is back at it with an overwritten article called “Shut Up About Voice Chat In Splatoon” because why not celebrate your new favorite Nintendo game and take shots at that nasty dudebro demographic who is not going to read this Tumblrific tripe and most assuredly is not playing Splatoon… now… or ever.
I love that right off the bat Ms. Myers relates that when it comes to online shooters, she takes the kindergarten approach. Which I enjoyed mainly because that’s how I view most SJWs: they cry a lot over nothing, need constant naps, and have persistent sticky hands for no goddamned reason!
I find it hard to believe that any SJW is trying to play Call of Duty right now or that there is a persistent harassment element that must be overcome to enjoy playing online competitive shooters. Ms. Myers tries to relate as having an idea to this, but it’s based on her own misandrist bias and “experiences,” which having written about her recently trying to relate a video game trailer of all things, seems to be unbalanced at best.
The lack of voice chat support is more indicative of Nintendo’s continued inability to understand the Internets or modern game design. It seems that with Splatoon, they are content to limit their audience to twelve year olds, dads who aren’t allowed to play real games anymore, and SJWs who are triggered by anything approaching team work and strategy.
Ms. Myers breaks down that sentiment:
The design of this game favors the socially anxious: you can alleviate your loneliness by participating in a massive virtual space, without any of the social-related stresses. Finally, I can focus on the game without any distractions.
Yes, the distractions of team work!
It begs the question: just how much of a “safe space” does a SJW gamer need? Hell, why even play online games at all, if your self-diagnosed social anxiety and endless mental disorders keep you from enjoying yourself? Is it so you can go on Twitter or Tumblr and crow about how you’ve overcome the “dudebro” patriarchal alignments of the online shooter via a baby online multiplayer shooter like Splatoon?
It’s this persistent martyrdom via overcoming faux adversity permeating Ms. Myers article that really disturbs me. She relates that the only person who’s actually clamoring for voice chat is the vaunted “that guy”:
Most of us have played an online game with a guy (let’s just admit it: usually, it’s a guy) who designates himself the de facto leader, starts shouting unhelpful orders and doling out bad advice. Presumably, this is the type of person who thinks we all want to hear—no, need to hear—what he has to say. If only he could be heard! His team would finally be winning game after game if his leadership could be felt!
The problem is we’ve all played with “that guy!” But you typically deal with him by telling him to shut the fuck up, or mute him. Problem solved! More often than not, he’s just another voice amongst others desperately yelling all at the same time that the team should be doing something to win. He’s usually wrong and you still wind up losing the match anyways.
The absence of voice chat in Splatoon is only effective in that it will limit the game’s selling potential, and Nintendo could use all the sales it can get. But they’re probably aware of that fact.
What they’re probably not aware of is that SJW “gamers” are using it as ammo in their constant war of demanding “safe spaces” to play games, far away from the knuckle-dragging “dudebros” that may admonish their assholey, anti-team behavior. For all the talk of SJWs about microaggressions, it is ironic that they demand “safe spaces” to be solo shitheads in a team based multiplayer game.